knoxcotn-digest Friday, January 19 2001 Volume 01 : Number 168

 

 

 

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Date: Sun, 14 Jan 2001 13:26:26 -0500

From: "Billie R. McNamara" <knox@tngenweb.org>

Subject: [KnoxCoTN] Sunday Afternoon Rocking

Today is a repeat of a long ago column that has always been one of my

personal favorites. For those of you who have previously read this, I

apologize and assure you a new one will be written next week, and for those

of you who have not...enjoy! ~jan

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What She Might Have Thought (from the "Sunday Afternoon Rocking" series)

Today I am going to step into the shoes of someone else. I live in and

nearby the mountains many of our ancestors crossed to settle Middle

Tennessee. I don't think about it much until I drive out or in, and then

it never fails to cross my mind and I am in total awe.

What kind motivation did it take for folks to set out on a journey over

mountains that unwelcoming and that daunting, in danger of natives, nature

itself....KNOWING full well they may never see the end of it, and that if

they did they were more than likely to lose half their family in the

process? What kind of thoughts crossed their mind when they made that

decision? What kind of inner strength and fortitude did they possess that

many of us today do not? Well...bear with a bit of a reverie here...may not

totally be historically accurate, but I think the thoughts of a mother and

a wife are...I stepped into the past and into the shoes of someone who

might have been one of those folks:

"Johnny is decided. I reckon I have but one choice and it ain't an easy

one. He says we have no choice, that we have to move on west and that now

is the time to do it. There is land waiting in Tennessee he says, land that

can be ours. He says any citizen of North Carolina now has a right to what

ain't taken. He says there is nothin here for us anymore, and I am

reckoning that is right too. But my heart is twisting in the inside of me

and that is so as well.

I got three babies buried out back there to leave behind. The fever got

Jakie... buried him at the age of two and like to broke my heart. Big

strong boy, was sure he would make it...but the fever got him. Lizzie died

at two months and Johnny never knew her name. He told me plain she wasn't

healthy and not to get attached to her, to leave off the name so I wouldn't

until we knew would she make it or not. But I couldn't stand putting her

down in the ground without a name. I called her Lizzie in whispers and the

day we buried her I whispered in her ear hopin somehow she would hear me,

"Yore name is LIZZIE...Elizabeth Jane Clark, after your grandma, you hear?

I named you after the mama I loved and that is yore name cause I love you

too."

I knew full well how it is to bring youngins into the world and knew I

would be burying them too, but I couldn't stand that baby nameless. Ain't

no marker there, but I know it is Lizzie...nobody else does and when I

leave here won't nobody know. Mattie is the third and I don't know how

Johnny can not think of that...I reckon he does but does no good to be

dwellin on it...a man's way. Mattie lived to be twelve. She was Johnny's

pick.

Yes, it twists my heart the thought of leavin those babies out back there,

worse even than it twists my heart I am leavin my mama's grave and those of

my three brothers and two sisters. Won't nobody know my babies are there,

won't nobody else pass by and stand a minute to remember. I won't never be

back. I done decided before I go I am gonna go out back there and lay some

big stones where they are, gonna scratch their names in it if I can, gonna

lay some flowers there and tell them good-bye. I know it don't make no

sense, but somehow I feel like I am deserting my babies, even if I cain't

talk to them nor they to me.

That ain't all the thinkin and heart twistin I am doin about leavin

here...Papa has my brothers that are livin, and my sister Jane, but I know

the day I tell them goodbye is the last time I am gonna see them. I know

Papa will die and I won't be here to bury him, nor any of the others

either. There is somethin comforting about washing and dressing your

dead...about lovin em gentle-like one last time and doin all you can for

them before you send them on to the next world, and I won't get to do

that...won't even know when it happens...will live all my days wondering if

Papa is gone yet, or the others, and when they went, and how.

I won't watch my nieces and nephews grow up and I won't have Jane no more

to talk to. Maybe I can send them word somehow along the way we are all

right, maybe sometime they can send me word...but don't see how as things

are now. They don't show no notion of following us to Tennessee.Only

Johnny's brothers going to do that. All I will be able to do is lookup at

the stars at night and think "well Papa and Jane might be looking up at

these same stars...might not be together, but we in the same world with the

same roof...that is something".

And the heart tuggin just goes right on too....I pitched an everlovin fit

when Johnny come up with this. I looked at my livin youngins, all six of

them, looked at their eyes a 'shinin as Johnny told em what was waitin out

there for the takin, the times we would have, the future they had

ahead...and I tell you my heart broke like somebody took a hammer and

crushed it, over and over six times and no mercy.Those blue eyes shinin,

those bright heads dancin up and down in excitement....and not a one of em

old enough or with sense enough to know that they all wouldn't make it.

We'll wind up burying some of em on one of those mountains loomin up like

walls that reach to the clouds, or beside the river..I know we will and

there ain't no two ways about it...and I know if my heart is breakin now it

is gonna break even more then...Johnny won't have no time to let me stay

there a spell and grieve..we will just have to leave them behind where

ain't nobody, not even Jane, gonna know or drop on by and stay with them a

spell now and then...I won't even know for sure where it is I left my

babies on the way. Don't know how we will even go about buryin em right,

puttin them away like a mama ought to have the right to lay her babies to

the final rest.

And taint no sense dwellin on it. I know good and well could be none of us

gonna make it, and for sure, if we stayed here neither there ain't no

guarantee ...whole families I watched wiped out by first one thing and then

the other. Caint vouch that the natives won't get us, nor a sickness, nor

bad water,nor a piece of bad blood waiting to ambush us on the trail.

Cain't vouch that river won't get us, have heard about that river and the

places in it. Cain't vouch how long what supplies we have will last, nor

for sure we can get more. Caint vouch for nothin much at all, cept Johnny

is right.

Ain't nothin much for us here, gettin less and less all the time, and what

of our babies make it, if any of em do, well they will have a better chance

for it. They may can own their own land this way, get by easier in the

world once that place is settled in. Maybe they can have things someday me

and Johnny never dreamed of. But it shorely is a high price to pay. It

shorely is.

And I reckon I'll follow Johnny even if my heart is twisting and bleed

inside of me to where I don't know how I am gonna keep on keepin on. Johnny

is decided and I reckon he is right."

And that is what I think might have gone through a mother's mind two

hundred years ago.

Have a good day,

jan

Copyright ©1998JanPhilpot

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(Note: Afternoon Rocking messages are meant to be passed on, meant to be

shared...simply share as written without alterations...and in entirety.

Thanks, jan)

Sunday Afternoon Rocking columns are distributed weekly on the list Sunday

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Date: Sun, 14 Jan 2001 16:18:15 -0500

From: Mike Haynes <MHaynes2@cox.rr.com>

Subject: [KnoxCoTN] Knaffl & Brakebill, Knoxville photographers

Anyone know the year that Knaffl & Brakebill, a photography business, was

formed under that name? It's known that the Knaffl brothers were in

existence in 1897, which is about the time James Brakebill joined them. It

is also known that Knaffl & Brakebill had formed by 1925.

Your help is greatly appreciated!

Mike Haynes

MHaynes@kenyon.com

MHaynes2@cox.rr.com

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Date: Thu, 18 Jan 2001 09:04:51 -0500

From: "Billie R. McNamara" <knox@tngenweb.org>

Subject: [KnoxCoTN] Indian Treaties full-text compilation on-line

Thanks to the ever-mindful Leota Bennett for sharing this site --

http://digital.library.okstate.edu/kappler/vol2/Index.htm

It's the complete text of the 1904 compilation by Charles Kappler, entitled

Indian Affairs: Laws & Treaties. I'm quite impressed by the scope of

Oklahoma State's commitment to provide such historic works on-line.

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Date: Fri, 19 Jan 2001 07:21:25 -0500

From: "Billie R. McNamara" <knox@tngenweb.org>

Subject: [KnoxCoTN] NARA guides on-line

NEW WEB RESOURCES FROM NATIONAL ARCHIVES

Perhaps you've seen and used the helpful genealogy

guides from the National Archives and Records

Administration at http://www.nara.gov/genealogy/

Check out the latest additions to this section of

the Web site, which can help you find and use these

family history resources:

* Pre-Federal Records

http://www.nara.gov/genealogy/prefed.html

* Income Tax Records of the Civil War Years

http://www.nara.gov/publications/prologue/fox.html

* World War I Draft Registration Cards

http://www.nara.gov/genealogy/w1draft.html

* Deaths of US Citizens in Foreign Countries

http://www.nara.gov/genealogy/deaths1.html

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End of knoxcotn-digest V1 #168

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